STAND-UP: Paul Tonkinson, Caroline Mabey, Alun Cochrane + more - XS Malarkey @ The Queen of Hearts (Manchester), 15/03/11

This being my first foray into ‘underground’ comedy, I was quite excited to see a fairly big name (i.e. someone I’ve seen on the telly), in a small venue. I first saw Paul Tonkinson on Comedy Central a number of years ago, and again more recently on Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow – and I was intrigued to see whether his odd/cartoony traits would come out in front of a small crowd.

To Fern Brady first though. Her material focused on the Daily Mail’s hatred of foxes and duplicate-your-own-vaginas; so liberal comedy in both senses. It was pretty funny stuff aimed at students, but as that’s what made up most of the crowd it worked.

A quick note about the MC Toby Hadoke – he did a good job at warming up the crowd and keeping them entertained during breaks. So much so that he could easily have done two sets worth of material as an actual act. With a nervous/posh kind of edge, he did trail off a few times but certainly kept everyone’s attention.

Carl Hutchinson was next. He was a self-proclaimed stoner, although he seemed more high on caffeine than anything else. He took a while to get going, but once he found his stride, it was a very funny set.

It was then ‘special guest’ time, with Alun Cochrane being added to the bill last minute as a surprise act, so he could try out some new material. It’s so obvious when people have been doing it for years, as he seemed very at home even with fresh jokes, and they certainly weren’t bad either. Relaxed and confident, Cochrane’s set was a great watch.

Caroline Mabey was unfortunately the low point of the night. I checked her out online beforehand and she was pretty straight, although still nothing to write home about. Tonight she was all over the place – schizophrenic, horny and pretty hard to watch. There were glimmers of hope, but overall a confusing set.

It was a shame the crowd wasn’t bigger for Paul Tonkinson, but that didn’t stop him getting involved and making the most of the audience. He toned down the ‘weird’ a little, but was still able to bounce off the crowd and create a great atmosphere. Talking about his days at university in Manchester, he went down brilliantly. You definitely see a different side of comedians in a smaller venue, and it’s one that Paul Tonkinson works really well.

Bearings, Directions, Gravelines, Hopes – Tiger Lounge (Manchester), 06/03/11

This may have been the first time when I have gone to a gig with no previous knowledge of any of the bands playing. So with an open mind and no expectations, I was interested in how the night would pan out.

Opening the proceedings was new Manchester outfit Hopes playing their first ever gig. The set was pretty impressive for a debut performance; it was rough round the edges as expected, but that didn’t detract anything from the performance. It’s obvious that they haven’t quite yet found their sound, but their ATD-I/Glassjaw rhythms, mixed with some Gallowsesque riffs, showed promise.

Another relatively new band was next – Leeds’ Gravelines. I was really really impressed with these; heartfelt punk rock with some real passion. They reminded me of a more straightforward Mockingbird Wish Me Luck in places. Definitely a band to keep an eye on.

First of the touring bands, Directions, didn’t impress. It wasn’t like they were bad or anything, just bland and uninspiring.

Unfortunately my disinterest made me pretty tired, so I only managed to stay for half of Bearings’ set. Despite being of a similar ilk to the previous band (is this slow emo/rock ‘in’ at the moment?), they were a bit more interesting. They reminded me of Rival Schools at times, especially one riff that sounded exactly like ‘Used For Glue’. Nothing ground-breaking by any stretch of the imagination, just decent songs with a bit of spark that Directions lacked.

So overall a good night, with Gravelines definitely taking the best band accolade.

Such Gold, Koji, Starters, Decades – Retro Bar (Manchester), 22/02/11

I can’t really put my finger on it, but tonight was a weird one. Maybe it was the low crowd participation contrasted with the high turnout, heightening my suspicions that while this was the place to be on a freezing Tuesday night, hardly anyone there really knew why… Or maybe I’m just being far too pessimistic – hell, a great turnout on a weeknight at a punk gig with no local bands; that’s a great result no matter what. Plus, it wasn’t even as if I was an expert on any of the acts either.

Kicking things off was Huddersfield five-piece Decades. Not knowing what to expect, it took me a few songs to decide that they placed neatly between Head Automatica and Taking Back Sunday. It was clean and catchy pop rock, full of plenty of hooks and vigour. Unfortunately they weren’t able to keep up the momentum for their full set – towards the end it seemed more and more like they were a one-trick pony. There are only so many staccato guitar parts one band can get away with. However if they can mix it up a bit in the future, I can see them gathering quite a following.

Starters took to the stage next, and managed to up the tempo and cause a bit of a stir, while still maintaining a strong pop edge. Imagine Brand New’s Your Favourite Weapon mixed with dashes of Man Overboard and The Wonder Years, and you’re kinda close to Starters. Impressively catchy but with an overall ‘punk’ ethos, these guys seem to bridge the gap between two scenes which will ultimately work in their favour.

My cynicism rears its ugly head again for tonight’s solo effort, Koji. Now, I must stress before I make my point that Koji seems like a really nice person. I mean, he probably is a really nice person. I just found his between-song dialogue a bit contrived, and a bit staged. I guess if it’s not an act then I’m going to look like an idiot, but just like some celebrities play up to their accents, I did feel he was exaggerating his…niceness. To the songs though; it was accessible and stripped down acoustic pop, with a fairly decent voice to boot. Reminiscent of Mike Park in places, a pleasant and impressive set.

I caught the end of Such Gold’s set a Fest last year, but didn’t really think much of them. Taking the bad sound at The Venue’s side-stage into account, I wanted to give them another chance, and this time they were a lot better. It still wasn’t anything ground-breaking; there are more accomplished melodic punk/hardcore bands, but Such Gold still have some good tunes in their arsenal. Sitting quite comfortably between Canyoneer-era No Trigger and Four Year Strong, this tour could easily win them a host of new fans.

Going back to a previous point, I did find it confusing that, while the crowd did get a bit lively for Such Gold, I couldn’t really work out who 90% of the crowd were here to see (there was certainly limited crowd reaction to the other acts). It’s obviously not a bad thing that the punters were out to see some new music; I just couldn’t help thinking that a lot of them felt like they had to be there. However, despite my pessimism, this was an enjoyable and surprisingly varied night.

My top 10 bands I’ll never get to see live

Wow, I've been slack recently. Well, for anyone that cares, consider this a turning point. Hopefully. So, to reintroduce myself to blog-world, here is a list of 10 bands I wish I'd witnessed in the flesh...

Disclaimer: I didn’t want this list full of too many ‘obvious’ choices; there will always be other bands I could have put in. Opinions and all that.

Also, it is in no order.

There are so many times when I wish I was ‘around’ for certain music-based events (when Green Day toured Dookie is the one that normally springs to mind), but unfortunately I only came into this world twenty-two years ago, and only started truly appreciating the broad spectrum of punk music about eleven years ago. With my favourite groups drawing from their earlier counterparts, I was always going to get into bands from before my time, which is why a number of the bands in the list appear.

The other bands feature for two other reasons really; either they just never toured the UK in my gigging lifetime, or I was just very unlucky…

Refused – Certainly one of my ‘wish I was around’ moments, I can only imagine how electrifying and exhilarating a Refused gig would be. ‘The Shape Of Punk To Come’ must be one of the most celebrated albums in the punk world, and seeing the songs live would have been very special indeed.

Osker – I never used to appreciate Osker. Then after I was lambasted by a friend for calling them a poor man’s Lawrence Arms, I gave them another go and instantly fell in love. Treatment 5 is an excellent snotty pop punk album, while Idle Will Kill is just pure brilliance.

Daggermouth – Out of the whole hardcore/pop punk crossover genre I think these guys nailed it perfectly, with an impeccable blend between the two. It’s hard-hitting yet very melodic, with the darkest lyrics you’ll hear from a band of this ilk.

Operation Ivy – Punk kids living in California in the late 80s must have really felt like part of something unique. Disputably the first ever genuine ‘ska-punk’ band (depends on whether you’d assign their predecessors with the ‘punk’ part of the label), their gigs were probably sweaty, manic and intimate affairs. Seeing Classics Of Love playing a few Op Ivy songs a couple of years ago was amazing, and the closest I’ll get.

Nirvana – I’m not sure what era Nirvana I’d like to have seen; headlining Reading in 1992, or playing some dingy basement in Seattle in the late 80s. What I am sure of is that either experience would have felt very special. Cobain’s mesmerising stage presence coupled with some of the greatest riffs in rock history – Nirvana rightly carry the ‘legend’ status.

Minor Threat – It’s hard when writing about pivotal moments in the history of the alternative scene not to repeat certain words like ‘exciting’ and ‘special’; and these two adjectives are certainly appropriate when talking about this band. Minor Threat was the start of something different and revolutionary, and I can’t imagine what it would have been like to witness them performing.

Five Knuckle – One of my biggest music-based regrets is not going to the Household Name Records Christmas bash in London when I was 15. Little did I know at the time, but it was realistically the last chance I could get to see Five Knuckle. I listened to ‘Balance’ for the first time in ages the other day; it still sounded so fresh, relevant and mesmerising. Certainly one of the most revolutionary UK bands of the past 10 years, shame they never really got the recognition they deserved.

Get Bent – In the last few years I must have listened to their five-track demo close to 75 times. The best way to describe Get Bent is just honest, catchy punk rock. I would have certainly caused long-term damage to my vocal cords if I’d seen them live, so it’s probably for the best I didn’t.

Kid Dynamite – I don’t dance or crowd surf much at gigs these days. I don’t know if it’s just an age thing or if I’m becoming more self-conscious; but if I somehow manage to catch Kid Dynamite live before I die, I will genuinely ‘lose my shit’. Injuries will include dislocated shoulders from too much air pumping and aching cheek bones from a constant grin.

Hostage Life – I was so excited to see Hostage Life at Fest 8, but they pulled out and split up days before. One of the most underrated bands of the past few years, I believe they really had something going for them, in a Clashforthe21stcentury kind of way.

Mentions should be given to the following: Fugazi, The Movielife, Fastlane, Descendents and Lifetime – as I’m still holding out hope to see them all. Finally, Latterman and Knapsack would have made the list if I’d forgotten about one or two of the others.

Failsafe, The Perfect Crime + Radicus – Club Revolution (Peterborough), 24/09/10

Having just appeared on everyone’s favourite juvenile comedy show The Inbetweeners earlier in the week, Failsafe seem to be edging closer to the top of that glass ceiling. Considering the fickle nature of casual music fans, it wouldn’t have been foolish to think that tonight’s gig would have been packed to the rafters with excitable youngsters hoping to catch a glimpse of a band that was on the box. Unfortunately the E4 hype machine obviously wasn’t working properly as turnout was pretty bog standard, a reflection on the town however, not the line-up…

Radicus have always been frustrating, as they are the kind of band that should be playing to a packed hometown crowd and touring the country with their infectious brand of technical yet melodic punk rock. Throughout the years they have progressed into a well-oiled unit, and tonight they showcased their obvious talent as they blasted out each aggressive anthem. Lee’s impressive voice cut through the skilful guitar lines with added help from powerful backing vocals. If Rise Against experimented a bit more on their riff-writing, they might sound a little like Radicus.

Next up were St Neots’ The Perfect Crime. They play progressive rock which sounds pretty huge considering there are only a three piece. The songs were atmospheric and intricate, and managed to keep the crowd interested despite not being everyone’s cup of tea.

For years Failsafe have toiled through the UK toilet circuit, notching up an impressive amount of gigs and supporting some sizeable bands along the way. The kind of band that appeal to a wide range of music palates due to their vast array of influences, Failsafe are always a pleasure to watch, and tonight was no different. Drawing heavily from their last album ‘The Truth Is…’, the band smashed out each song as if it was the last song they would ever play, with heaps of energy and enthusiasm. The crowd was treated to a couple of new songs that sounded BIG, and catchier than a swine flu epidemic. The band's effortless transition from complex and delicate instrumental parts to balls-out punk rock is extremely impressive. If Failsafe ever manage to break through the tough roof that encloses the UK punk/alternative scene, it’ll be their obvious knack of writing brilliant hits that gets them there, not a bit-part on a flavour-of-the-season comedy show.